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Feisty Fireball Tip of the Week: Money Matters

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Money is a bitch.

One minute it’s all flowing nicely; you’ve got money in the bank, you’re making extra money on the side and you got a bonus at your day job. You feel like you are on the right track.

The next minute you get your credit card bill in the mail, an unexpected expense came up, some automatic payment you forgot about caused you to overdraft, your bank is charging you 30 bucks for said overdraft and you haven’t had time to make the side hustle work for you.

Believe me, it happens.

When things start to go awry in the money department we can get very stressed out very fast. Granted, some people are okay with being thousands of dollars in debt, others (like myself) cringe at having any sort of balance on the AmEx. But for the most part, money scares the shit out of people.

The truth of the matter is this: we have to remind ourselves that we are in control of our money before our money turns around and controls us.

Complaining about not being able to save? Cut back on the frappuccinos.

Saw some weird charge on your statement? Call your bank ASAP.

Wondering why the balance on your credit card never seems to go down? Try paying more than the minimum payment.

Granted, as someone who is trying to make a business profitable, investing in some hefty training and short on time for the side hustling these days – I understand that the money factor is more complicated than just saving a few bucks here and there; but we have to start with the basics before we dive into how much money we want to make and what our purpose for it is.

First we need to figure out our shit as it stands right now.

How much do you have coming in from your day job?

How much do you have coming in from a side hustle?

How much are each of your bills? Telephone? Rent? Car? Gas?

What are you putting on credit? (Break this one down into categories so you see exactly where your money is going)

How much do you have left over?

Then we need to look a bit at our money personality.

Are you spending money before you have it? (BIG ONE!)

Are you comfortable with debt or are you more risk averse?

Do you spend money on things you don’t actually need?

Do you spend according to your emotions?

Do you make it a priority to save?

Simply take note of your behavior and then start to rework it to your ideal. For instance, if you’ve noted that you spend money before you have it, keep your credit card locked in a drawer. If you spend money on things you don’t actually need, wait a few days before touching your new paycheck. If you’re an emotional spender, take a step back and recalibrate before spending money. If you don’t make it a priority to save, come up with a savings plan that works according to your budget.

At the end of the day our money doesn’t have to be funny and we don’t have be stuck in the cycle of make and spend. By reworking our financial habits we can cultivate wealth in a number of ways, and it all starts with baby steps.

For more money mojo subscribe to receive a free budget template or grab a copy of the first Grad Meets World Ebook! 

Taking a Leap and Getting Comfortable with Risk – The Feeling Factor

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If you all read my column over on Glass Heel then you already know that I decided to enroll in a life coach certification course (Thanks Michelle Ward for recommending ICA!) . I’ve gotten very positive responses about this, which now makes me feel that I am on the right track, however this was a decision that brought on a lot of fear. Fear that I needed to learn how to sit with.

I thought about calling this post, How to Spend a Shit-ton of Money When You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Fear, but figured it didn’t really convey the message I’m ultimately trying to get at. But the truth still remains, I was scared. Really scared.

Scared over how much money this will cost me (we’re talking close to 6k) .

Scared that I wouldn’t make a good coach.

Scared that I am in way over my head.

Scared that I would be a phony for spending that much money after writing personal finance posts for you guys.

Scared of the time this is going to take (6 months to over a year easy).

Scared of the amount of work this is going to take (this coming from a self-proclaimed work-a-holic).

And so I did what any aspiring yogini/personal development junkie would do. I SAT WITH MY FEAR. I talked it over with my best friend (What would I do without her? Seriously.), talked to my parents, talked to a couple of readers,  talked to whoever would listen so I would hear my thought process out loud. Then I wrote. I wrote the first thing that came to my head (P.S. It ended up being published on Glass Heel lol). Then I talked some more and ended up asking myself:

What would the alternative look like if I don’t do this?

It went a little something like this:

Working for someone else for 30 years. Depending on someone else for a paycheck. Not being able to help people to my fullest potential. Not be able to reach my own fullest potential. Settling. Playing it way too safe. Not pursuing something that I have genuinely come to love and adore.

Basically, it would look like all the crap I’ve been railing against since the inception of this blog.

It didn’t make me feel good. At all. In fact, it made me feel sick.

Then, the light really shone through- and I was able to see some clear truth:

If you want to rock it as your own full-time boss (which I will ultimately do someday) you’re going to have spend money at some point. I happen to have found my thing in personal development, and personal development ain’t cheap.

Investing a shit-ton of money on yourself is not something we should feel guilty about – particularly if you have the intuition that it will really do you some good in the long run. For example, who feels guilty about having spent a ton of money on college degree? Can’t think of many people…

If you want to make strides in creating a kick ass life, you’re going to have to take some risks. Period. Point Blank.

We have to deal with fear. We have to get comfortable with it. As a lovely coach recently told me, we have to invite our fear out for tea.

After realizing all of the above I enrolled. And you know what? A sense of true and genuine calm came over me, and the calm has continued as I’ve started to take my first classes.

The Feeling Factor

You see, when we take the time to listen to our intuition, to our bodies, to how we’re actually feeling we can make better decisions. We can choose paths that are in line with our values. We can make the decisions that are right for us – even if they seem a bit risky.

So this week I encourage you to take a look at something you really want to do and ask yourself some of the following:

How do I feel about this right now? Is it stressful? Are you scared? What in particular scares you about it?

Then sit with your fear for a couple of days. Talk it out. Write in a journal. Seek guidance. Meditate on it. Pray.

Pay attention to how your body feels through the entire process. The body never lies so take the time to listen. Do you get tense? Feel any pain? Are you relaxed or calm?

And finally, if you still can’t make a decision ask yourself, “What would the alternative look like? How would the alternative make me feel?”

That one is the real kicker right there.

Feel free to share some of your big goals in the comments section. Let us know how you are feeling, if you’re scared of taking a leap, if you actually took a leap, etc.

If you’re interested in more goodies, monthly updates (aside from the ones on the blog), coaching techniques and the chance for free coaching sessions make sure to sign up below!

 Amanda Abella

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The Post-College Guide to Happiness + Your Chance to Win a Kindle Fire!

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We’ve got something really sweet for you all this week – something that has been a while in the making! This week we have a guest post from Bryan Cohen, the author of The Post-College Guide to Happiness.

As someone who read the book not too long ago I can sit here and tell you it is FANTASTIC! Sharp, witty and above all – tailored to our wonderful generation and our pursuit of true happiness. 

Plus – In celebration of his book launch Bryan is also giving away a ton paperback and audio copies of his book. And…wait for it… A KINDLE FIRE! All participants will also receive a free digital copy of this amazing book.

Read on for a rockin’ guest post from Bryan himself and for your chance to win some awesome stuff!

The Post-College Guide to Happiness

Bryan Cohen here, guest poster and author, promoting my new book The Post-College Guide to Happiness for The Happiness Blog Tour. I’m giving away free digital review copies of the book and doing a giveaway for paperback copies, audio copies and even a Kindle Fire! Read on and check out the info below the post.

“Taking ownership of your happiness has two aspects: Accepting that being happy is up to you and that you have the ability and power to be happier by changing your habits. Taking ‘response-ability’: responding to all the events in your life in a way that supports your happiness.”

- Marci Shimoff

Owning It

When I was a kid, I remember several instances of playing the blame game whenever I did something wrong or stupid. This continued up through my adolescence and my teenage years, when I blamed everything under the sun for accidentally denting the garage with my new (used) car. Why was blaming such a part of my life? I think it was because I was scared of doing anything wrong or getting in trouble for something. It somehow made me less of a person to accept that I had done something incorrectly. In actuality, of course, accepting blame is a part of life and it’s part of growing up. That doesn’t mean that we don’t all still have the tendency to blame other people for our unhappiness.

Personally, I’ve blamed my bosses, the weather, my genes, my upbringing and my partner for causing me unhappiness at one time or another. It wasn’t until I read Marci’s book, Happy for No Reason that I realized how much the blame game was damaging my chance to be happier. Outside circumstances could shift things slightly happier or slightly less happy, but the real determining factor of my joy was what I did on a day-to-day basis and how I reacted to the things I couldn’t control.

When I hear a new way of doing things that sounds better than my current habits, I like trying to institute the changes immediately. When I looked deeply into my typical day, I found many habits that were like self-inflicting happiness wounds. I would beat myself up all the time if I wasn’t happy with my productivity. To cheer myself up, I’d rely on food or hours of mindless television to get me out of the dumps, which in the long run was just digging me deeper and deeper. I was relatively optimistic, but there were many ways in which I could have responded to negativity more effectively. I saw that there were many opportunities for a positive change, but the most important thing was to start owning my own happiness.

Being happy wasn’t going to be up to someone else or something else, it was going to be up to me. I would have to change if I wanted to be happy. I knew that it would be a long and difficult process, but I also knew that it would be worth it. Several years later, I’m still not where I’d like to be habitually, yet I’ve made great progress. If I keep increasing the ownership of my happiness each year, I’m bound to have a healthier and more successful life.

–

Bryan Cohen is giving away 61 paperback and audio copies of The Post-College Guide to Happiness and a Kindle Fire between now and May 7th, 2012 on The Happiness Blog Tour. All entrants receive a free digital review copy of The Post-College Guide to Happiness. Bryan hopes to give away at least 1,000 copies during the blog tour. To enter, post a comment with your e-mail address or send an e-mail to postcollegehappiness (at) gmail.com. Bryan will draw the names at the end of the tour. Entries will be counted through Sunday, May 6th.

Bryan Cohen is a writer, actor and comedian from Dresher, Pennsylvania. He graduated from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 2005 with degrees in English and Dramatic Art and a minor in Creative Writing. He has written nine books including 1,000 Creative Writing Prompts: Ideas for Blogs, Scripts, Stories and More, 500 Writing Prompts for Kids: First Grade through Fifth Grade, Writer on the Side: How to Write Your Book Around Your 9 to 5 Job and his new book, 1,000 Character Writing Prompts: Villains, Heroes and Hams for Scripts, Stories and More. His website Build Creative Writing Ideas helps over 25,000 visitors a month to push past writer’s block and stay motivated.

Feel free to follow along with the tour at The Happiness Blog Tour Hub Page or on the book’s Facebook Page.

7 Basic Truths of Grad Meets World – Screw Mediocrity

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This is my passion. This is my dream. This is when I feel most centered. Starting this blog lit a fire under my ass back in November 2010 and I want to share the ambition with you all.

Grad Meets World is kicking things up a notch. New photos, new design, Skype sessions for newbie bloggers, crazy awesome videos and now A MEDIA KIT! That’s right, kiddies, I’m taking the Grad Meets World message as far out as it will go and while I was compiling the kit certain thoughts came to me like BOOM.

Below you’ll find some of the basic truths that have come up for me and many readers during the creative process of running this blog. I’m hoping it will start giving a clearer message of what this movement is all about.

7 Basic Truths of Grad Meets World

Traditional doesn’t work anymore. We want freedom, choices and the ability to create work out of our passions. Cubicle farms kill creativity – and the human spirit along with it.

Life balance is mediocre thinking, it’s a dichotomy that was originally created with the industrial revolution and hasn’t changed much since then – except in so far as the lines between work and life are now more blurry than ever. Life is not linear. Get comfortable with imbalance. Find what makes you tick and run with it instead of trying to balance it all out. Get outside of the box. You’ll be surprised at how much better you will feel.

We’re running business and society with incompetency. Competence doesn’t come from your ability to half-ass some SMART goal your boss handed you. Competence comes from finding what comes naturally to you and exceeding even your own expectations.

Experience is your best teacher in business. You can read all the books you want, get picky over your logo, and get every detail of your business plan written out – it still won’t prepare you. Just dive in and learn as you go along. Perfection is a myth – so stop chasing it.

Your intention is more important than your achievements. People can see through BS. They know the intention behind your services, products and words. Lying in a job interview? Managers can tell. Shoving a product to make a quick buck? Consumers can smell it. You want to achieve great things? Check your intentions daily.

Even baby steps are miraculous. The difference between a successful person and one who is not is that the former got off their bum and started taking baby steps.

Success means different things. Success to me may not be the same as success to you. It’s not the house, the fancy car, the romantic partner or the bank account. It’s how something makes you feel. If the big house makes you feel good – then maybe that’s success to you. But to someone else it could be traveling the world, creating art or simply hanging with their family.

 

Overcoming Fear: Lessons Learned From My Quarter Life Crisis

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A common phenomenon that seems to be occurring among 20somethings is the Quarter Life Crisis. If you’ve been following the blog for a while then you may have begun to overcome yours already. If not, you may be in the middle of it.

For some, this QLC manifests itself in the fear of personal and professional uncertainty. While economically things are looking better than they were a couple of years ago, there’s still a long haul ahead – as a result we start panicking about our careers, our finances, and whatever path we’re meant to take in life.

For others, they are just overwhelmed by choices. We can literally do whatever we want. Want to move to New York City? Do it. Want to start your own business? Do it. Want to travel around the world? Do it.

There’s no longer a blueprint. We don’t have to get married right away. We don’t have to work for someone else. We don’t have to conform to a certain set of rules.

My quarter life crisis was a mix of both. The fear of uncertainty was strangling me while my options were beyond overwhelming. I didn’t know what path to take. For the first time in my life, no one was telling me what to do. And what ensued was a fear spiral that lasted close to a year.

It all started my last semester. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t happy, and panic attacks became a common phenomenon. While other students graduated and were able to settle into their careers, or even just relax with games of foxybingo; or trips to visit friends elsewhere, I was still a bundle of nerves with no real plans. I was absolutely petrified of the future, but worse, I was petrified of repeating my past.

Does any of this sound familiar yet?

I’ve slowly begun to overcome this fear. Granted, it’s been a huge work in progress. Sometimes I still fall and the fearful thoughts come over me like a tornado. Am I at the right job? Am I doing the right thing? Do I even want a romantic relationship? Am I okay with myself? What do I even believe anymore?

The key lies in facing your fears. Just kicking back and saying “Hello Fear, how are you today?” This may sound somewhat absurd, but if we don’t begin to face our fears we’ll never really overcome them. As a wonderful life coach told me recently, “Have tea with your fear.”

Below you’ll find some tools that have helped me overcome my own fear of uncertainty.

Stop Comparing Yourself

Comparing yourself to others is a sure-fire way to set off a fear spiral. You’ll get a case of what many coaches call the “When I Have’s”. In other words, “I’ll be happy when I have that boyfriend”, “I’ll be happy when I have that job”, “I’ll be happy when I have X dollars in my bank account.”

Guys, seriously, it’s all crap. First of all, you don’t how what a person really has. Maybe their relationship, careers and bank accounts are in shambles. Second, you have to be okay with your own path and your own desires – not someone else’s. Just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it will for you.

Be Okay With Your Fear

Fighting your feelings will only make it worse. I should know, I’m an expert at this. As soon as I feel some sort of fear or uncertainty coming on I start thinking “Stop it! You shouldn’t be feeling this way! It’s stupid! You suck for feeling this way!”

The truth of the matter is we’re not perfect. Fear, uncertainty and sadness will creep in every once in a while. Rather than pushing it away and making it worse, sit with it. Allow yourself to actually feel so you can release it and move on.

Most of all try and do this without judgment. Simply witness how you are feeling without beating yourself up about it. (Seriously, this one has been a good tool for me!)

Stop Watching the News

I’ve joked about this before in an interview I did with Lindsay Hunt. If you want to start feeling better, stop watching the news.

Don’t get sucked into news segments whose only job is to get better ratings. This is especially true with the 24 hour news channels; they have a lot of time to fill and a limited number of stories, so you’ll just hear the same fearful crap over and over again.

If you feel the incessant need to be in the know simply ask someone what the day’s headlines are.

The aforementioned are three things that have really helped me overcome the fear of uncertainty that was my Quarter Life Crisis.

Do you have anything that has helped you? Feel free to share in the comments section!

Feisty Fireball Tip of the Week: Get Ballsy, Get Entitled

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The Run Down:

Last weekend I finished reading The Work Revolution by Julie Clow. The whole book is about how companies can create new management systems that incorporate freedom and creativity into the traditional view of work.

To give a gist of some of the ideas behind this book I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite ideas that Clow puts forth:

1. People have different skills and different energy levels – use them efficiently.

2. Micromanaging sucks the life out of people.

3. Current systems in older companies just waste a hell of a lot of time.

4. Creativity in the workplace should be embraced.

5. Crappy managers (A.K.A. Fire breathing dragons) need to get axed immediately.

6. Employees work better when you put the power in their hands.

And finally…

Work doesn’t have to suck.

There’s a quote in the book that really resonated with me. In fact, I think it’s an utterly brilliant quote for our entire generation.

“Frankly, for whatever musings there might be about gen Yers being ‘entitled’, that attitude has led to their absolutely having no patience for the ridiculousness of corporate lives, and they are opting out, in droves. They are optimistic that they can do things they are passionate about, and can make money at it. Fortunately, what starts in the younger generations spreads upward to their elders, as evidenced by the former’s immediate Facebook adoption by older age groups. We all need to become more entitled. We need to insist on a work life that is fulfilling and fun.”

And so I’m sitting here typing this up with one message in mind:

Get ballsy. Get entitled.

You already have the drive. You already have the passion.

Now all you need is the balls. And just enough of a sense of entitlement to push you.

For those of you who want to quit your own jobs and start your own business. For those of you who want to move up in your current job. For those of you who want to move half way across the world. For those of you who want to follow your creativity. For those of you who want to make money doing what you love.

Strap on your cojones and go after it.

No one’s going to create a work revolution for you. You have to take part and create it for yourself. Perhaps you won’t change an entire corporate culture, but you’ll at least change the way you live your life in conjunction with your work.

We’ve got one life to live. Live it and work it well.

Facebook Fan Giveaway

Since my Facebook Fans are so supportive and engaged I’d like to show them a little love by doing a giveaway just for them! One lucky Facebook Fan will receive a free copy of Julie Clow’s The Work Revolution so they can start creating a work life of their dreams.

All you all have to do is answer one simple question:

What does a work revolution mean for you?

Become a fan, answer the question and the winner will be selected via Random.org on Monday April 23rd.

 

4 Ways to Start Financially Weaning Yourself Off of Mom and Dad

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Not too long ago I wrote a post about why it’s okay to be a boomerang kid. I stand behind the fact that staying with mom and dad for a while during a rough economic time can certainly benefit you in the long run. However, there does come a time when you need to take on more responsibility. Hopefully, if you have found a job then mom and dad aren’t helping you with everything.

Now, this doesn’t mean that as soon as you have a job you need to pack up your stuff and move. Baby steps, my friends. Start small, actually learn about your finances and paying bills before taking a big leap. Otherwise you may find yourself with a hairy financial problem on your hands.

Let’s remember that salaries (if you’re lucky enough to have one) for college grads aren’t what they used to be, and as a result we should exercise a bit more caution with our hard earned dollars. Let’s also remember that the earlier we start cultivating healthy financial habits the better off we’ll be later on.

Below you’ll find some ways you can start financially weaning yourself off of mom and dad. Granted, you don’t have to do all of these. I understand everyone has a different money situation right now, so simply pick whichever works best for you.

1. Cut your spending. 

This may be common sense, but there is a reason I bring it up before I give examples of ways to start financially supporting yourself. It’s because before you start spending money on things you need, you need to curb your appetite for spending money on things you want.

Chances are that at some point you’ve gotten really excited about a product or service and did something stupid as a result. I, myself, am no stranger to this. About a year ago I decided I was going to get gung ho about my health and signed up for a gym membership and once a week training sessions – both on contract. Granted, I did pretty okay for a few months until I got sick and my doctor told me I should just stick to yoga. I also pretty much hated it.

The end result is that I had to pay the remaining balance in increments because there was no way I had the money upfront to break the contract. Was signing up for the contracts in the first place incredibly stupid? Yes. But it did teach me a valuable lesson about money.

Fortunately both contracts have ended and I can focus on actually paying for things I need.

2. Take on the smaller bills.

If you have a job, there’s no reason you can’t pay for own cell phone. There’s also no reason you can’t pay for your own transportation (if you really want to be smart about this carpool or use public transit). And hopefully you’ll be making enough to pay for the monthly on your student loans (though I suppose that is a conversation for another time).

Since everyone essentially starts at the bottom, it would be wise to take smaller financial steps while you start to work your way into your career. Once you start making your own money – whether it’s from your day job or your side hustle – you can start taking bigger steps.

3. Pay some rent.

Paying mom and dad for rent is going to be way cheaper than finding a place on your own. Granted, most parents probably won’t ask for a check every month, but if they do there’s no reason to bitch and moan about it. After all, they are putting a roof over your head.

Even if they ask for a couple of hundred bucks a month – a. that is way cheaper than rent for your own place and b. it shows them you aren’t taking advantage. Instead of spending a couple of hundred bones on bar tabs consider helping mom and dad out a bit.

The money you aren’t spending on renting your own place can then go into a savings account so that someday you can own property instead of paying for someone else’s mortgage. At least until you’re making enough money where you can pay rent and save for a downpayment at the same time.

4. Buy your own groceries.

What? Do you expect mom and dad to pay for your food as well? Make a list, buy your own food and cook it too. It’ll teach you a thing or two about budgeting. Besides, some of us need to be forced into learning how to cook (*points to self*)

The aforementioned are just a few ways you can start financially supporting yourself once you have found a job.

Feel free to share any other ideas you come up with in the comments section :)

Image via ignatius decky

 

 

3 Ways to Overcome Gen Y Stereotypes

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Today we have a lovely guest post from Graduate Jobs, an independent UK based website that both small and large organizations use to post their jobs for college grads. They also allow candidates to make profiles and search for jobs that match their background. Pretty nifty, right? 

Jonathan is a recent Business & Management graduate who now works as a Marketing Executive at Graduate Jobs. He has a passion for all things digital and social media as well as an addiction to tea. This week he focuses on common Gen Y stereotypes and how to overcome them. Enjoy!

Overcoming Gen Y Stereotypes 

Generation Y reaches one of the most critical stages in their lives leading up to and during their twenties. Generation Y can usually be defined as those born between 1982 and 2003 whilst also being the largest segment in terms of numbers, estimated to be around the 70 million mark. Typically, Generation Y have many stereotypical characteristics. This may cause some issues when it comes to finding a graduate job or even within the workplace, but are there ways around this? This post will tackle some of the most common stereotypes that Generation Y face.

The lazy and uncommitted generation 

This is one of the most common stereotypes that Generation Y gets accused of. In actual fact, research conducted by Kenexa High Performance Institute last year showed that out of those who were surveyed, 31% of 27 year olds said they were considering leaving their organization, but the research also showed that in 1990, 31% of 27 year olds were also considering leaving. According to these results, it is clear that Generation Y’s level of commitment is very similar to that of previous generations.

Nevertheless, members of Generation Y may well find that simply quoting statistics is not enough to debunk the myth. Another way is to demonstrate your level of commitment within your employment history. As a graduate, you may not have a lot of previous jobs but I remember having a particular part-time job for five years whilst in secondary school and sixth form. This shows that I was committed and willing to earn money at a young age. If you are proactive during university, regularly contributing to a society or Students’ Union for example, and have completed internships, this will also show an employer that you get yourself out there, that you’re not afraid of hard work and, most importantly, demonstrate you are not the stereotypical student.

Unrealistic expectations

This is quite a damaging stereotype. Some may believe that all Generation Y feel they are entitled and special, and expect to be able to go into a new job and change everything. To overcome this, take some time to absorb the business processes and find out the reasons behind them before proposing any changes. At the same time, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions, as long as you do so in a respectful manner. If you feel you have ideas that may improve the day to day running of the business, create a case with your line manager but be prepared to back yourself up with relevant findings and evidence. Over time, you will have more opportunities to really contribute and get stuck in, just don’t become a bull in a china shop.

Needing constant feedback

There is a simple way to overcome this stereotype. When applying to a graduate job, give examples of when you have had to work independently. This will tell the employer that you are able to complete tasks without needing constant supervision. At the same time, make sure you include team work examples, as they are likely to be looking for that too. In the workplace, the best way you can avoid annoying your manager is by asking how they prefer to communicate feedback before unexpectedly turning up in their office. This means that you know what level of feedback you can expect. If you feel you are not getting enough feedback, consider negotiating monthly sessions with your manager to discuss your progress. Just remember that flexibility is key.

Overall, the stereotypes that are given to Generation Y are just that; stereotypes. The only difference there is is that Generation Y have simply grown up in a different environment with different tools and a different society, just as other generations will in the future. Unfortunately, stereotypes do exist and you will encounter people who blindly believe in them. Take pride in turning these stereotypes upside down and proving them wrong!

Feisty Fireball Tip of the Week: Let Go

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Ladies and gentlemen, there will be some cool changes happening around these parts in the coming days.

First, in order to match the sassy blog design I decided to FINALLY name the email list – you guys will now be receiving Feisty Fireball Emails once a month with some straight up gusto to help you work toward your goals and create the life you want. If you want in on the goods make sure to subscribe :)

Second, along with these monthly emails I’ll also be attempting to do some more video blogging. I’ve become obsessed with iMovie (as you can see here) and like the idea of putting a face and a voice behind the blogger. The goal will be to share weekly (maybe bi-weekly depending on how this goes) quick tips to help you start overcoming the stresses and anxieties that come with being an adult these days – topics will include anywhere from health and wellness to career and finances.

If you have a question you’d like answered on the video blog make sure to shoot me an email using the contact form or send it to amanda [at] gradmeetsworld [dot] org

Oh, and one more thing. I am officially a columnist over at GlassHeel.com! It’s a site dedicated to helping gutsy young women one board room at a time. My column will be focusing on how to run that side biz – from landing clients to engaging a community. Make sure to check out my first piece, The Two Ps of Starting Your Own Business.

And so, without further ado, below you’ll find my first Feisty Fireball Tip of the Week! This week’s topic is all about letting go and stepping back from trying to control an outcome. Enjoy!

Tips for a Tough Emotional Job Hunt

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As someone who does countless screenings and interviews each week sometimes I get the joy (note sarcasm) of dealing with some very emotional people.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that things aren’t as easy as they used to be. I also understand that it’s very easy to take rejection personally. But getting high and mighty during a job interview will only further hurt your chances of being successful on your job hunt.

Seriously, there’s nothing recruiters hate more than someone who walks into their office with a bad attitude. Or, someone who constantly emails about how they feel disenfranchised because they didn’t get the job. The truth? I highly doubt companies care about your personal feelings. They are just looking for the right fit. If you aren’t it, then you aren’t it. Period. Point blank.

Is this kind of harsh? Yes, in a way. But if companies and recruiters spent all their time explaining themselves to candidates who aren’t going to work out anyway then they would never get anything done.

It’s the same concept if you own your own business. Would you waste your time on someone you knew wasn’t going to pay you? I didn’t think so.

Since this is the reality that we deal with on the job hunt, I figured it would be wise to compile a list of tips for those of you who are having a rough time – just because although my job requires me to be less empathetic, I do understand that people are going through hardships.

Feel Your Feelings – Just Not In Front of a Recruiter

It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to get upset if you get rejected for a job. What’s not okay is to throw a hissy fit in the recruiter’s office. It’s disrespectful to a person who is just doing their job. Furthermore, it kills any chance you may have had in case the situation changed. During a tough job hunt it’s important to make a good impression and keep it that way.

Once you get to your car you can call up your best friend and scream all you want. In fact, I encourage you to release your emotions so you’ll be able to move on the next one. All I’m suggesting is that you keep your decor during the interviewing process.

Don’t Mention Your Baggage

I don’t know why people seem confuse recruiters for therapists. I have had people start crying in the office because they’re going through a divorce, because they are nervous, because they hate their boss, and countless other reasons. The result? It gets very awkward very fast. It also shows that you may not be emotionally ready for a job – a big red flag to companies.

Recruiters don’t want to hear about your personal hardships – or at least not how you’re still suffering from them. What recruiters do want to hear is how you triumphed over a tough time, although it would be your best bet to keep it business related.

Do Some Physical Exercise

People think I’m crazy when I say this, but there is a method to the madness. Will exercise directly help you get a job? Probably not. Although, believe it or not it does help to show that you are physically fit and enjoy taking care of yourself. To a company that means you care enough to invest in yourself and your well-being – which is hard to come by these days when so many people are down in the dumps because of the economy.

Think of it this way: would you rather hire the high energy go-getter who prides themselves in their well-being or the dud with who let a tough economy depress them and put their health on the back burner? This is a no brainer to a hiring manager.

Exercise also helps with confidence, releases endorphins, and is a great way to release any frustrations from the job hunt.

Think Worst Case Scenarios

I’ve been watching a lot of Danielle LaPorte talks lately. One of her favorite tools for business (and life) is to use the worst case scenario. Think to yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen if I don’t get this job?” Once you realize that you probably aren’t going to die and that there are other options available you will start to feel a little better.

In conclusion, while job hunting as we begin to get out of a recession can be very frustrating, there are tools you can use to keep your emotions in check during this tedious time. Use them to your advantage!